I was reading one of my favorite blogs, If you belonged here, by the wonderful Polly Poppins. She had posted a poem she's loved since 1993. So then I was reminded of a poem I have loved since 1999, written by my high-school friend Liza Eyester.
It used to break my high-school heart every time i read it, and now that I've found it, it still sort of does. And I sob. The melodrama takes over the entire room.
Here it is for your heart-breaking pleasure:
You Summertime
Looking in the rearview, through the back window
old dirt outside the windshield wiper track,
there is a long gray road.
a wolf on the right side, docile and also gray.
And we're given a choice, you know?
When the house burns down, which it may do,
it will be my fault for leaving
candles burning under scattered newspapers and
gasoline doused corpses of miniature insects.
Love you in a way that doesn't make much sense.
It's not a good thing,
it's pure insult-
You seem safe.
Sometimes my body is stuck in the earth's crust.
Sometimes God says, "Come over to my house, we'll bury you in the sand."
My head can turn, and my shoulders are above the low brush of the desert.
But my hands can't move!
The sores in my mouth are asking for you in Italian.
How did they learn the language?
Is it your last name? Is that Italian?
What makes me feel closer to you than I am?
Is it your white ballcap that is worn into the very look of familiarity?
You are summer to me.
You are late nights after the pool is closed,
making out in the creaky chairs in the clubhouse TV room,
swimming in the outdoor pool,
with a bat flying overhead like a pilot going down.
Haven't caught up to my mouth yet.
Haven't learned what it means to roll with the punches.
Haven't killed, kicked, smothered nostalgia,
or gassed it out of a room.
Me bad,
you summertime.
Ahhh, the pain... Liza, I hope if you ever happen upon this, you won't be upset with me posting our high-school angst here for all to see! I sure wouldn't want people going around showing MY highschool writings.... but you were always more talented. (Does that make up for it?)