Being an adored and teensy bit spoiled 'child', I got to have an entire weekend of celebrations for me me me!!!!
Ah yes, I'm so loved!
It's either that or everyone fears what may happen if my birthday (which I take very seriously) isn't properly noticed... although I'm not prone to grudge holding, for THAT kind of an offense, I will. I WILL.
My favorite part of every birthday is the Moment-of-Assessment that is a tradition in our family. somewhere between the many toasts (to me, to mom, to dad, to grandparents, to sister, to boyfriend, to loved ones no longer with us, and all others potentially affected by me, or having had some sort of input into my current existence) that are a staple of Russian celebrations, I am asked to take stock of what I have accomplished over the past year and what I plan to do in the new one.
It's really agreat tradition, a sort pulse check on life. we also do this on new year's eve, so it's like a semi-annual evaluation to make sure I'm headed in a, generally, good direction.
This is no simple pat on the back mind you. If my family or anyone else present feels that I have been under-performing and/or ignoring crucial components (such as health) to focus on others (such as work), they will let me know about it. They will readily propose action plans for immediate correction of said 'issues'.
This year's Moment-of-Assessment was really pretty awesome for me. We run around so much every day that it's easy to miss when our lives have taken a gradual shift, no matter how significant.
A year ago, I was in a job that made me desperately unhappy. I couldn't quite put my finger on what was wrong. Objectively speaking, it paid very well, it provided a clear career path, it was in the field I had majored in at school and I was very good at it. But boy did I HATE it, everything about it, every moment, ever detail.
My mom, who's into 'that kind of stuff', kept urging me to read Finding Your North Star by Marth Beck. I refused over and over because I'm NOT into 'that kind of stuff' and couldn't imagine a book with such a cheesy name having anything to do with my situation. Furthermore, I didn't even realize that I was in any sort of particular situation. I just thought that I was very tired from work, that I was constantly sick due to faulty genes and that all people my age hate their jobs, but keep at it for future benefit.
Meanwhile, without realizing it, in about a year and half, I had become this boring, sleepy person who trudged to work in the morning, sat nearly brain-dead at my desk and then ate dinner in front of the TV before bed. Actually, one time I fell asleep at my desk. And, since we didn't have cable, i sometimes resorted to watching Wheel of Fortune. Yes, this is true.
I found myself just floating along, disregarding all of the exciting plans I had made, forgetting the things I loved and was passionate about because they somehow didn't seem 'adult' or 'realistic' anymore.
Anyway, to cut this story of pain and sadness short, this is what happened: I finally got that book, I don't know what made me do it, but I'm glad I did!
When I read about generally energetic people who fall asleep all day and generally healthy people who get sick all the time... I realized that I WAS, in fact, in a 'situation' that needed to be corrected immediately. I felt like I had finally woken up after walking around in a daze for a year. And then I got to work.
After busting my butt in the search, I found a new job that I love, one that's in line with where I want to be in a few years. I'm also applying to NYU's Gallatin school for my masters. The topic I've chosen to study is a bit removed from my career, but it's a passion and I'm confident that I'll make good use of it.
So, my Moment-of-Assessment was great this year. I'm in a completely different place than just one year ago.
My two main resolutions for this year are to (1) whip my health back into shape and (2) get into Gallatin!
(did this sound like some sort of product testimonial? it's not!... but since we're on the topic, i feel obligated to say this: do what you love! if you love it, you'll be good at it. if you're good at it, you'll be compensated well. this is what i've learned.... )
And ok, one more thing. if you're struggling to actually find what it is that you like and/or are good at, this is also a very good book: