Curiouser

Babushkas in Bonnets - Navigating the Russian Museum

Polly's post on the subject of Ugly Americans, among other things, inspired me to share some wisdom in regards to visiting museums in Russia, should you be lucky enough to visit the country.

Let me start off with the positive: Russian museums are magnificent, often quirky and always interesting. The Treiteykov Gallery in Moscow, the Hermitage in St. Petersburg - these are simply world treasures.

However, they happen to be located in a country where 'customer service' is still something that is only now being explored, after decades of Communism during which you were lucky if there was food to buy - never mind asking for it to be sold with a smile.

 

Anywho... regardless of which Russian museum you will be visiting, there are a few simple rules that apply to one and all:

• As a foreigner, you will be charged more for museum entrance than a Russian. I know this sounds very unfair, but when you consider the fact that the average Russian salary is about $250 per month - you will feel less slighted. On occasion, I will try to be sneaky and purchase Russian tickets for Alex. Unfortunately this desire to save a few bucks has caused us quite a few embarrassing scenes - i.e. Russian museum guards (old Babushkas in bonnets) escorting Alex out of the museum, once by pulling his ear. Alex, you should know, looks extremely American - bright green Polo shirt, Birkenstock, big red back pack and all... On one occasion I instructed Alex to play 'slow' if spoken to in Russian - smile kindly and stare until i answer in his stead. Unfortunately, he got a little bit over zealous in his role and started making weird noises, which i guess sounded more like American noises than Russian noises. So that, and his polo, birks and backpack all came together to start the whole ear-pulling incident at the Moscow State Armory. So - do yourself a favor and just pay the few extra bucks even if you're in the company of Russian friends/guides.

• Don't trust guide books with opening/closing times. Here's the thing: The Metropolitan Museum in New York has had pretty much the same schedule for the past 20 years or so. Maybe longer. Also, most NYC museums have very similar, if not exactly the same schedules. Well - this does not, in any way shape or form, apply in Russia. They're still experimenting with all that 'organizational' type stuff there. Guide books are updated every couple of years, Russian museum schedules change every few months. Sometimes i think they do it just for fun, just to mess with us order-loving Americans, to confuse the Brits and so on. Every museum has its very own idiosyncratic hours of operation. Some are closed on Tuesdays, some on Mondays, some shut their doors whenever anyone rich enough rents out the entire space for an event. This past summer, Alex and I visited the majestic city of St. Petersburg. After diligently checking all available sources for hours of operation, we got a driver and ventured out to Tsarsoke Selo - the Czarist country estate. Upon our arrival, we were told that we could not enter the main palace because some prima-ballerina and her oligarch-ish fiance had rented out the entire thing for a wedding. On a Sunday. All the commoners were turned away. So. My advice to everyone is: do as much research ahead of time as you can, use your guide books only as very very general references. Check on-line. Decide which places are most interesting to you and base the rest around their opening times. Have a back up plan in case something is randomly closed. Also - if a museum says that it closes it 5pm - make sure to arrive by 4pm because often they stop letting in more guests after that.
• Don't mess with Babushkas in Bonnets - the Russian Museum guards. These old chicks are VERY, EXTREMELY, self-important. Being museum guards is the one thing in the entire world that lets them have control over anything in their lives. And they like to exercise it. They may not get their pensions on time, heck, they may not get their pensions at all, but at the museum, they rule the roost. Be nice to them, or they WILL pull you by the ear.
• Get the audio guide. English audio guides cost twice as much as Russian ones, but do try to swallow your indignation and get one anyway. First of all, do not expect name plates or explanations in English - they will be only in Cyrillic 90% of the time. Second, the audio guides are usually really really really well done and interesting. They are very much worth it.
• Check out the Icon collections. Generally speaking, I'm not a fan of religious art. However, Russian Orthodox icons are truly amazing masterpieces. At least walk by them and be prepared to be intimidated by angry looking Jesus - he used to stare down from the gates of every city wall to warn potential invaders that they will be struck down by the wrath of the holy.
• Ladies - bring your own toilet paper. I've spoken about this before.
• Be prepared for some of the most beautiful things you will ever see in your life - despite all the difficulties mentioned above, you will walk away feeling amazed. The Russian empire had so much wealth and the Russian dusha (soul) is so very melodramatic that the combined effect is awe-inspiring.

Photos -

1. Winter Palace Lions

2. Winter Palace Italian Fountain Room

3. Hermitage Art Gallery Skylights

4. Peterhoff Palace - the Main Fountain

ps- are you impressed with my super-duper picture taking skills? I surely am...

Demi's Firebird

I'm completely in love with my new book:

Firebird, the classic Russian fairy tale as re-told and illustrated by Demi. The hero, young Dimitri, finds a feather from the Firebird. He brings it to the Tsar Ivan hoping for a reward. Instead, he is sent on a series of ever more difficult tasks and with the help of his powerful horse is gradually transformed into a Prince - one fit to win the love of the magical Princess Vassillissa.

Demi is a Cambridge, Mass born author and illustrator - she has published over 100 children's books. Her work is greatly inspired by Asian arts and folk lore.

I got Firebird last week and have gone through it at least ten times since then. It is just so very beautifully illustrated. The paint used in the printing of this edition is a special Chinese blend. The pages literally shine and change shades in the light. The illustrations are so intricate and filled with detail reminiscent of traditional Russian folk arts.

Ah... I'm really in love.

Kris Chau ...too

Phantasmaphile introduced me to Kris Chao last week and I just can't get over how much I love her!

Good Night Moon? (these are my own titles, by the way! I hope ms. Chao wouldn't mind...)

This reminds me of all my favorite bed time stories. Also, of 1950's advertisements, with an edge.

Double the Alice?

Kris' girls are more than pretty faces.

This chic may be lounging by the pool, but she knows what she's after!

How wonderful!

Sin and the Second City

My book club, which I really really love, is reading Sin and the Second City, by Karen Abbott right now.

Set in turn of the 20th century Chicago, Sin and the Second City explores the immoral Levee district.What with all the pimps, whores, drunks, crooked politicians and zealous preachers, how can a book like this not be entertaining?

The narrative is focused on the Everleigh Sisters, the constantly self-reinventing, upscale madams who ran Chicago's most exclusive 'resort'. The Everleighs keep their girls super and their boys happy - their's is no ordinary whorehouse!

This book is very absorbing and entertaining - it reads very much like a novel.

However, I've been somewhat annoyed by Abbott's seaming derision of the folks who were fighting to close down Chicago's 'vice-ridden' red light district.

For some reason, Abbott has chosen to portray those fighting against 'white slavery' - the practice of kidnapping unsuspecting girls and forcing them to work as whores - in a rather condescending and negative way. They are all either opportunists, mis-lead zealots, stuck up matrons or bumbling idiots. No matter how high-class Minna and Ada Everleigh might have been, the plight of Chicago's prostitutes was not very funny... though Karen Abbott portrays it that way. I would expect a more realistic representation out of a work of such well researched non-fiction.

Also - and this is something Polly will probably understand - Abbott uses the same exact description of one of the Everleigh whores two times. I'm talking word-for-word! What poor copy editing!! When I complained about this to Alex's mom, she laughed and said that she would never in a million years even notice something like that... so I guess maybe I'm a bit pedantic, but WHATEVER! It just bothered me, OK?!

Well, now that I've gotten all that off my chest, I can tell you that this book is very entertaining and a quick summer read. So I do recommend it.

You can read some excerpts on the Sin and the Second City book site.

Ivan Bilibin's Russian Fairy Tale Illustrations

On our last night in Moscow a few weeks ago, Alex and I decided to finally take it easy and spend some time doing one of our favorite things: browsing around a bookstore.

Moskva is an awesome bookstore right in the center of Moscow on Tverskaya Ulitsa (street). It's open until 1AM and has the best selection of art and academic books i have ever seen.

The Moskva Bookstore also has a really wonderful collection of antique books, where I spent probably two hours looking through mostly battered editions of old illustrated Pushkin children's tales. I love them.

Sitting on the floor among dusty books, i stumbled across a facsimile of the 1907 edition of Ivan Bilibin illustrated children's classics. I havn't looked at Bilibin's illustrations since I was a baby and was completely in awe of his beautiful, beautiful work. Some of his long lines and muted color choices remind me of Japanese woodcuts.

Bilibin was born in St. Petersburg in 1876 and went on to become one of the most respected and well-loved illustrators of Russia. He loved old Slavic folk tales and the wooden carvings found in the north/eastern regions of the Russian Empire.

Bilibin's illustrations are reproduced regularly in new additions, but the gorgeous facsimile i found is really something unique and special. It includes all 6 books from the original set and every detail of Bilibin's brush strokes is replicated.

I can't help being a show-off about it! 

Several of the books have never been opened, which makes them more valuable as collector's items, but my hands are just itching to go through the gorgeous, dream-like pages.... ooooh!!!

The characters in these fairy-tales continue to hold a really significant place in Russian literature, poetry and really culture in general. For me, they still retain the magic I felt when my mom and grandma Sonichka read them to me in bed at night... Sonichka is the best fairy-tale reader and teller ever. She always somehow managed to include my sister Val and I in all the action - we became characters too.

Anyway, I'm getting carried away here...

If you are interested in Russian fairy-tales or folklore in general, there is a great book put out by the State Russian Museum called Fairytales in Russia. 

The tome (available in both Russian and English) starts as a compendium of Russian and Slavic folk tales and then highlights the influence they've had on design and popular culture. It's priced at $89, which is really not very much for a book of this quality and beauty.

You can buy at on-line at the Hermitage Museum Shop.

In the meantime, here are some more wonderful Bilibin illustrations for you to enjoy:

From Czar Sultan (Pushkin)

Morozko

Baba Yaga - that old hag! (the topic of Baba Yaga, the ugly and evil old woman, is very interesting... the progression of wise old women from mothers and healers into child-eating monsters - but that's a whole other post.)

From Vasilisa the Beautiful (another Baba Yaga tale) - note the traditional Russia costumes

If you want to browse through some more of Bilibin's work - which you now obviously do - check out SurlaLuneFairyTales.com - they have a really nice collection from the works of many illustrators.

Eastern European Bathrooms

As I mentioned in my last post, I feel the need to share my Baltics travel experience and encourage others to explore this wonderful corner of the world. Until quite recently it was all hidden away behind the Iron Curtain.

Despite all the rich history and beauty I marveled at on my journey, for some reason i feel compelled to start off by discussing the bathrooms. Alex will probably be appalled by this display of prissy-silly-girlishness, but i do not care.

Frankly, any woman planning on exploring the Baltics and Eastern Europe must be prepared for the displeasure of using their toilets.

Here are the first three things a girl ought to know:

1. Do not expect toilet paper
2. Do not expect toilet seat
3. When outside major cities: do not expect toilets

What, pray tell, does point number 3 mean?  Well well well! Have you ever seen one of these beauties:

No? This, my friends, is a 'stand-over'. And this is a clean, seemingly sanitary example there of. Most of these don't have such lovely wooden doors. Many are also not 'flushable'. And don't think that sticking to capital cities will protect you from run-ins with stand-overs either! Vilnius' main train and bus stations have only these... and you have to pay to use them.

Here's another thing you should know: there are many public bathrooms for which you'll have to pay. But don't think that just because you're paying you'll be getting toilet paper, toilet seat, sanitary conditions or a toilet (as mentioned above).

All over the Baltic capitals of Tallinn, Riga and Vilnius, you will find a lovely chain of Starbucks-like coffee shops (which also serve sushi for some reason) called Double Coffee. Their bathrooms are very clean and they don't mind you stopping in to use them... take advantage of that. And while you're at it, try their MOCCA drink, it's delicious!

Now, I hope that the thought of crouching to pee in-doors will not turn you off to the whole idea of visiting the Baltics and/or Eastern Europe. I hope you have a sense of adventure! If a germaphobe like me can do it, surely you can too.

As long as you are prepared ahead of time, everything will be just fine. Please, be prepared. Always carry along Charmin To Go toilet paper rolls. They are very convenient and will fit into practically any purse. You can buy them at your local drug store, or in bulk on Amazon. Also carry hand sanitizer, using the available hand washing facilities will only make you feel dirtier.

Ahem.

I promise to make my next travel post more cultured and intelligent. But this girl wanted to help her sisters out. Amen. 

Back in the USA

Alex and I have been away on vacation for the past two weeks... hence no new posts. I'm sure my many many readers missed me so.

On our Eastern European Adventure, Alex and I visited Moscow, St. Petersburg, Tallinn, Riga and Vilnius. We had an absolutely spectacular time, complete with a scary detention by border patrol in Belarus... but more on that later!

Before our travels, we purchased some guide books on the Baltics, but unfortunately those turned out to be quite unsatisfactory...

AND SO:

I have been inspired to put everything we learned about the Baltics and how to get around there and what to see down in this very blog to help other would be adventurers!

Today was my first day back at work and due to the fact that I absolutely refused to check e-mail while taking this much needed break, I returned to find over 400 unreads in the old inbox... a good portion of them urgent. And of course I had 4 back to back meetings. So now I am tired and will have to give up writing anything else until tomorrow!

ta-ta!

Chatty Kathy? Or - Shut Up Greg!

My mother always says:

"A good deed never goes un-punished."

My father always says:

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

One must forgive them this bit of pessimism. They are generally happy people, but they are, after all, Russian.

I, on the other hand, only had a few months in a Soviet school before running away to the land where the streets are paved with gold. And so, am much more optimistic. As a result, i believe in karma and Random Acts of Kindness doing.

Into this category of "Random Acts of Kindness" falls my relationship with a man who's name I do not know, but who's little complaints on life i listen to whenever we run into each other in the hallway at work. Inevitably this happens when I'm ridiculously grouchy and just trying to run out for a quick lunch.

This man, let's call him Garrulous Greg, loves to corner me and tell me (in his boring, oh so painfully boring way with his nasally voice) about whatever it is that happens to be bothering him at that moment. I feel very badly for him. He's an older man (in his mid-50's?) and always looks so crumpled, not ironed, clearly not cared for by a woman's gentle touch. It seems to me that he must be pretty lonely to constantly want to chit-chat with a person he doesn't know. Clearly there is no one else who is willing to hear him out. So i take this burden upon myself.

He has told me about his cat, his argument with his car mechanic, his desperate attempts to get his money back from Weight Watchers because they have done nothing for him, why he dislikes Tuesdays more than Mondays, that the quesadia line in the cafeteria is too long, that he doesn't like the salsa they put on them and on and on and on...

All the while, through his tirades of unhappiness and general distress, i stand quietly smiling and nodding (you know the technique i'm sure), occasionally voicing concern and outrage at his mistreatment at the hands of others. I'm SURE the cook at the sandwich line at the cafe DOES gyp him on the roast beef.

Yesterday Garrulous Greg cornered me by the bathroom and start talking, even though i told him that i'm really kind of in a rush, ahem.

Greg apparently did not care that i was in a rush and kept right on going. "You know what?" he said after a few minutes. "I just realized that i don't even know your name. In my head i always just think of you as 'chatty-Kathy' "

Excuse me, WHAT?!

I may be generally chatty (I prefer 'friendly'), but with Greg - i am the MODEL of a good listener! I listen and listen and am NOT interested in telling him anything about myself what-so-ever! WELL! can you believe this guy? After my kindness towards him, my patient willingness to hear all of his stupid complaints, HE has the nerve to call ME 'chatty-Kathy'?! Is this where my good intentions have taken me?

That's it people! I am no longer going to put up with Greg or any of his ilk. The doors to this house of understanding are closed! Bah!

And that's all i have to say about that.

Stalin and Marilyn

I thought we might all enjoy a little bit of Soviet style Marilyn in the morning...

These two pieces are by Russian artist Leonid Sokov, who is considered to be part of the Russia pop style, 'Socialist Realism' movement. .. Wikipedia describes this as: "the use of ideology as an object of consumption"... which really cracks me up, but seems to fit the following two works.

I saw them at them at the Russian Art auction at Sotheby's in NYC, which is where the photographs are from.

"Marilyn and Stalin", 1989

"Marilyn and Bear"

The Cranes are Flying

Yesterday Alex and I watched The Cranes are Flying, a Soviet film from 1957. Directed by Mikhail Kalatozov, it is one of only two Soviet films to ever win the top prize at the Cannes Film Festival.

It is a very sad movie. Veronika, playfully known as belka (squirrel) has her life torn apart when her fiance, Boris, volunteers for the army to fight the Nazis in WWII.

When her parents are killed in a bombing, Veronika moves in with Boris' family. She waits and waits for Boris, she checks the mail every day, she calls the plant where he worked before leaving, but hears nothing.

Meanwhile, Boris' cousin, who has dodged the draft by bribing an official for a medical exemption, pursues Veronika despite her repeated requests that he leave her alone. During another bomb raid, he rapes her. After the rape, Veronika is shamed into marrying him, leading the rest of the family to think that she has betrayed Boris. 

As the film progresses and war gets worse, the family is evacuated to Siberia where Veronika volunteers at the hospital where Boris' father works. The life is cold and miserable and Veronika is growing stiff and cold and miserable and everything points to the fact that Boris has died, yet she continues to wait and wait and wait for his return.

In the final scenes of the film, war is over and the troops are coming home. There is a parade and the people are filled with joy, families reuniting with their boys after the battles have been won. But amidst all this happiness, the camera pans to Veronika as she struggles through crowds, holding a huge bouquet of white flowers, looking looking looking for Boris. Even at this moment, especially at this moment, she doesn't want to believe that he's not coming home.

Finally, Veronika finds Boris' friend, Stepan, who confirms that he has died. As Veronika cries, Stepan makes a speech urging everyone to embrace the hard-won peace and rejoice, but never forget those who have died.

The last scene is so painful. You feel Veronika's desperate sorrow while everyone around her is celebrating. While there are a few other emotional moments in the film, this one is clearly the culmination.

Something a bit entertaining is that while The Cranes is really supposed to be about love and family and honor and war, it wouldn't quite be Soviet without showing Boris as an honorable factory worker, the women of the factory as supportive do-gooders and a few great speeches about loyalty to one's country...